"Of course there are some others as well but I don’t know them all thought."
Dont you mean: " Of course there are some others as well but I don´t know them all though."?
Otherwise I found it great.
z
Before you read this I would suggest that you would read the prologue first, just check my portfolio
SOULS
The Grim figure looked at Sam with its deep black eyes, which seemed to suck you into another dimension.
“Before I start, there is something you must know.”
“What would that be?” asked Sam interested.
You are dead."
"I figured that out a long time ago."
Jack nodded.
“The nature of souls... Is also something you must know,” said the Reaper “There are some different kinds of souls in the world. First there are the formless souls, which are either souls of the animals or some kind of person who is `enlightened´”
“Like the people of the east?” asked Sam
“Yes. Then there are souls that have forms, which are the normal human souls; they keep their form because of the restrictions that their own minds put on their soul. The third kind of souls are haunters, that can be divided into many sub sections, haunters are any kind of souls that disturb the life of normal people in any way.”
“Wouldn’t that make you a haunter?”
“Well thought, but no. I belong to a group called the ´Over Spirits`. We the O.S are spirits with a large amount of power, some other being belonging to this group are death, deaths minions; like me and some death imps, the devil and God. Of course there are some others as well but I don’t know them all thought.”
“So in what group would I belong to then Jack?”
“You are a zombified souls, your soul is kept in your body even after your death because of your will power or some other power that keeps you tied to the humans world. One way to turn a zombified soul like you into a ordinary soul is…To kill it again.” The skeletal figure sat there grinning
“There are also some other souls that are powerful by will and can be seen and touched by people even though they don’t have a body. MY job is to harvest the last two souls mentioned. You are included.”
“So the other souls are harvested by the imps, yes?”
“Exactly”
“But may I ask when did I die? I don’t exactly remember dying, I just got a feeling something was coming for me so I hired those guards.”
“Do you remember your last visit to the toilet? You feel something weird while you were, err… relieving yourself didn’t you?”
“What was it?” Sam was embarrassed, like any person would be if they found out that hey died while taking a shit.
“A snake bit you on your, err…Buttocks.”
“Aah SHIT!” Sam was at that moment in a state that was somewhere between extreme rage and silent understanding of ones own situation
“Aah shit, indeed.”
After Sam had calm down he sat on the ground.
“Why doesn’t death come harvest us himself, then?”
“Well to put it blunt, if he were to come here now, all of those even having a bit stronger cough would probably die. Do you know the Plague? That was one point where we did not have a Grim, so death had to come himself, everyone with plague died.”
“I see.” said Sam
"Of course there are some others as well but I don’t know them all thought."
Dont you mean: " Of course there are some others as well but I don´t know them all though."?
Otherwise I found it great.
That was great. I didnt exactly fined any grammer problems but were are the other chapters? dont give up man.
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